More Men Need To Rally Support For Postpartum Mental Health
The Massachusetts murders spotlight the unique struggles of American motherhood.
The story of Lindsay Clancy, who murdered her three children before attempting to take her own life in Duxbury, Massachusetts, has rocked the community and country. But I want to take a moment to thank and praise the husband and father, Patrick Clancy for asking for forgiveness for his wife, drawing attention to an issue we need to talk about more: postpartum psychosis.
Patrick Clancy detailed the joy he found from being a father, and the personalities of his three late children: Cora, 5; Dawson, 3; and 8-month old Callan on a GoFundMe page launched for his family.
"The shock and pain is excruciating and relentless. I'm constantly reminded of them and with the little sleep I get, I dream about them on repeat," Clancy wrote on Jan. 28th, 2023. "Cora, Dawson, and Callan were the essence of my life and I'm completely lost without them."
About his wife, Lindsay Clancy, who was reportedly suffering from postpartum depression and psychosis at the time of the alleged murders, Patrick described their marriage as "wonderful.”
He states that he and Lindsay “diametrically grew stronger as her condition rapidly worsened." Patrick goes on to say that he “took as much pride in being her husband as I did in being a father and felt persistently lucky to have her in my life."
In the midst of his unimaginable grief and trauma, this man, who just lost his three children and almost his wife, is asking us to forgive her. This is such an act of grace and selflessness, but also advocacy because Patrick Clancy is spotlighting how impossible the postpartum period is for women in the world’s richest democracy– and how too many women struggle alone.
"I want to ask all of you that you find it deep within yourselves to forgive Lindsay, as I have," he wrote. "The real Lindsay was generously loving and caring towards everyone — me, our kids, family, friends, and her patients. The very fibers of her soul are loving. All I wish for her now is that she can somehow find peace."
This man is doing something more men need to do: Speak up about postpartum mental health struggles they see their partners going through, often with little to no support or sleep.
Lindsay Clancy, a Massachusetts general nurse, was hospitalized in Boston last week after jumping from the second-story window of her home in Duxbury, about 35 miles south of Boston. Authorities are calling the incident a murder-suicide attempt. Clancy, who is in police custody in a Boston hospital, is being charged with two counts of homicide, three counts of strangulation and three counts of assault and battery with a deadly weapon.
Her story might sound like something out of a horror movie and it’s scary how instinctual it is for most people to want to vilify and blame the mother. But America’s maternal maternal health numbers paint a devastating reality for too many women.
One in five women will experience a mental health disorder during pregnancy or in the first year following childbirth, according to the Maternal Mental Health Leadership Alliance, a nonprofit dedicated to maternal mental health advocacy. This includes illnesses like depression, anxiety, OCD, bipolar disorder, and post-traumatic stress disorder– often brought on by a traumatic birth experience.
Women who have suffered from one of these disorders before pregnancy are more likely to have postpartum troubles, an important warning sign that is often overlooked by medical professionals. Women with bipolar disorder are especially at higher risk of postpartum psychosis, which usually starts shortly after birth.
Dr. Nancy Byatt, a psychiatrist who studies perinatal depression at the UMass Medical School, tells The Boston Globe that postpartum mood changes are triggered by the sudden drop-off in pregnancy hormones.
“Hormonal pathways are inextricably linked to the pathways for depression and anxiety,” Byatt says.
These hormonal changes often occur against the background of the “whole-life upheaval of new parenthood” during which women lose control over their personal time, can’t get enough sleep, and take on daunting responsibility of caring for another human.
While mothers across the world go through similar changes, in America women have the added struggle of skyrocketing childcare costs, no paid parental leave, and the pressure to act “Pinterest-perfect.” We have to work like we don’t have children and parent like we don’t have to work.
Looking through the Facebook pictures posted online in news stories about the Clancy family’s tragedy breaks my heart. I look into this woman’s eyes smiling in photographs with her beautiful babies and think about how much help she must’ve needed caring for these tiny humans while no one was taking care of her.
The good part about this story is that it is forcing Americans to have the long, hard conversations about postpartum mental health. Lindsay Clancy wrote on Facebook that she had struggled with postpartum anxiety and was reportedly going to a mental health support group five times a week. It wasn’t enough help. Women need more resources.
It’s important to remember that maternal health is considered a key indicator of a society’s overall well-being, and even before the pandemic, the United States was the most dangerous place in the industrialized world to have a baby, especially for Black women and women of color.
“There is definitely a problem in our country for women who are either pregnant or in the postpartum period, who are vulnerable and under a lot of stress,” Jeffrey T. Howard, an associate professor of public health at the University of Texas at San Antonio, told the Seattle Times. “We are failing these women as a society and failing their children.”